We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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