i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
