On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
