She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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