Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
