Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
