Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
