i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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