please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
