Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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