I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
