Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
