There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
