We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize