I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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