We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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