Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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