Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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