I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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