no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
people are starting to question the shark bite story
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
