well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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