yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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