You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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