What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
