Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
