Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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