The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
