i don't like sucking hair
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
