He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
