i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
