I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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