I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
