Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
