I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
