I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
