and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
