She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize