Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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