Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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