Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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