sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
