She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
