allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
