my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
