but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
