How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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