You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Your cock deserves a montage
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
