So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
