Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
