Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
