Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
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Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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