i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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