Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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