it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And then he peed in my hair
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