It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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