they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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