u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
