I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
