Buhtt sex?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
