i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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